Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Ink Stained Mondays 7: Beware the Ides of February February 15, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — inkognegro @ 3:36 am
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(although I’ve found out that the Ides of February is actually the 13th, I am going to have to cling to my previous ignorance and press forward)

So…Today is the Fifteenth of February. At some point the vast majority of you will find yourselves pondering.

And you may be asking yourself: Self? Is it worth it?

Was it worth the money?

Worth the time?

Worth the hassle?

Worth the inconvenience?

Did you get what you were looking for?

If you are not able to answer at least one or two of those in the affirmative you need to re-evaluate some stuff.  Take a few Valentine’s Days off maybe.

Check on your Hustle and see if your reaping and your sowing is matching up.

Because honestly?

If you are in a relationship and your Valentine Day isn’t working out like you would like it to, then you are probably making mistakes the OTHER days of the year.

If you aren’t in a relationship and you are out doing the most on VD then you may wanna ponder a new hobby.  Celebrating Valentine’s Day is usually best left to people who are positive they want to spend time together.

Absolutely Positive.

Let’s do better folks.  When you set yourselves up for bad dates on Valentine’s Day, it only magnifies degree of the fail.

Stop doing that to yourselves.

Please and Thank you.


Ink Stained Mondays- Love Conquers All February 8, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — inkognegro @ 11:09 am
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And now…some Poetry.  Sorta.

Part of the nature of being human is that  that attracts those who have been pushed down and had their lunch money taken by love is that you realize how much of a bully love is.

Love knows you need it.

Love knows that despite your superhuman feats in your career, you are predisposed to love another person, whether family or stranger.

At the very moment you believe yourself incapable of taking another step down the road that leads to love, you see something that inspires you.

You hear THAT song

You smell THAT cologne

You see THAT movie

You go to THAT restaurant

The Nostalgia rolls through like the Tide

You want that feeling again…and no memory of the pain you used to feel will overcome those instantaneous moments where it all just clicked.

You say to yourself, no.

I’m tired of losing.

I’m tired of being used and abused

I don’t NEED love to be happy.

Maybe you don’t.

But you want it…you know you do.

Because THAT feeling is singular.

You can’t fake it.

You can’t simulate it in an avalanche of sex and debauchery.

You can’t bury it under your work.

That desire will never go away.

It is what it is.

You are who you are.

Stop fighting it.  It’s as natural as breathing

Just be patient and don’t try to get love to be what it isn’t or do what it can’t.


Where is Mr. Right?-Words of Encouragement November 19, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — FlawedBeauty @ 12:01 am
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I received this in an e-mail from my cousin in 2006, I hope you all enjoy!

I often warn women who are contemplating marriage to marry someone who
can take care of them. When a woman marries, it ought to be to someone
who is capable of taking her to the next level. If she comes from
poverty, there is no reason for her to get married and still be
impoverished. The role of the man is to take her to another place. When
she gets married, she ought to dress better, drive better, live better,
and eat better, not constantly be in a struggle over where her next meal
is coming from. My grandmother used to say, “I can do bad all by

For a woman desiring a mate, the objective, of course, would be to find
a Christian man, who’s settled, has goals, accomplishments and a job.
But a goal-oriented and focused man can’t just be approached any kind of
way. So the woman who seeks this type of stability must make sure that
he stands out above the crowd:

1. Make sure your relationship with the Lord is strong and growing.
2. Make sure that you are presentable. Working from the inside out, your
presentation should be representative of both who you are and
whom you seek. Appearance is a reflection of how you see yourself.
3. Have the ability to hold an intelligent conversation.
4. And most importantly, allow the Holy Spirit to take control. You
don’t need to go after him. He’s going to come after you, because after
he sees and smells you and knows that you’re in his presence, he’s going
to want to know who you are!

I know there’s somebody reading this who has been chasing after the “man
of your dreams,” but God says, “Just sit still and allow patience to
have her perfect work through Me.”

Furthermore, it’s never a good idea to be too forward and too
aggressive. Attempting to win a man’s affection by jumping into bed
with him will only backfire and cause him to lose interest in ever
developing a lasting relationship. It causes him to lose respect for
you and question your character. However, if he sees that you are
dressed with quality, that you smell like you are somebody, that you
look like you’re doing fine without him, then that will attract the
right attention from him. He’ll have no choice but to give you his
attention. Stop looking so needy, climbing into bed, trying in vain to
capture a man’s heart.

God woke me up in the middle of the night and said, “The same thing that
Naomi told Ruth to do is the same thing that I want them to do for me.”
God is so sick of saints coming to Him trying to get a quickie and never
romancing Him for Who he is – going to church screaming, shouting and
hollering, but hadn’t been intimate with God all week long! Stop trying
to treat God like a sugar daddy and start romancing Him with worship and

“I’m yours Lord…everything I’ve got…everything I’m not!”

The God we serve, which is the God of love, demands and requires of us
foreplay before He gives us what we need. In the book of Ruth, the
mother-in-law tells Ruth, “You have to wash.” John 15:3 reminds us, Now
ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. When you sit
in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you are taking a shower. When you hear
the unadulterated Word of God, then the dirt and grime that you’ve
accumulated all week long begins to wash off of you. Ask God to “create
in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit.” Stand in the word.
Then wait upon the Lord to renew your strength.-Jamal Bryant

And you what say you all? Men, do you think this is the right way to go about it? Women, have you tried this? Is there anything here you think would work?