<b>ADMIN Note: I realize none of us have written a thing in forever and honestly you might not be paying attention but I swear I’m gonna start writing again</b>
No, but really.
This past Saturday two of my favorite Twitter men, @jamarhudson & @DatDudeEasy, were tweeting with the hashtag #simpinsaturdays. I just knew that two young educated (and too cool forwords brothers like them could not possibly condone simping. I had to ask (and I won’t reveal the answer).
Anyways, yesterday I watched Our Family Wedding and saw the following scene:
In this one 16 second clip they have just explained to Lance Gross how emasculated he’ll be once he ties the knot. I ran right back to Twitter and immediately asked if men would go for this… The answer I got was a resounding no.
Now… I’ve preached catering to your mate on this blog many a day, what I’m curious about is how far is too far? At what point is a man or woman giving their mate too much? I’m all ears!
As I listen to the news, read blogs and Twitter and just generally walk through the streets I am encountering more and more young women who are divorced. It is somewhat troublesome to me that there are statistics out there which clearly state that Black women are less likely to be married, etc. First off, I want to be sure that it is understood there is nothing wrong with Black women wanting to be healthy, wealthy and wise on their on accord & I think a man should be able to share in this, but I am curious why Black women can’t have it all?
I am young, successful and black. I have a very caring SO who is also young, successful and black. I don’t think either one of us would have it any other way, but I also realize there’s a very sacred and strong understanding that each of us must play a certain role in order to make things work. These roles are not defined by societal norms. but by what we as a couple have deemed the necessary parameters for each of us to dwell in so that our relationship is mutually beneficial to us in a variety of different ways.
What I am curious about then is why can’t married couples come up with the same degree of communication? Is there no way to have a middle ground? Is it possible that some of these issues are stemming from a lack of communication or self-worth and esteem or is it that we are all so selfish that we can’t see the forest for the trees?
Just a couple of muddled thoughts from a former blogger….
Last week I watched Raquel Welch on Oprah talking about her life and aging. She has a new book out called “Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage”
I think she’s in her 70’s and she looks great. Oprah had other women on the show too who had in my opinions aged gracelyfully. They take care of their bodies, remain active and proabably do not look their ages because of that. I simply couldn’t wait to get old so I could speak my mind freely to these youth, heh heh. A lot of them are kinda scarey now. But, I can’t wait to just have time. Can you imagine that theory? We have more time as we get older.
After my children are grown, I have time to spend with grandkids, travel the world (not that I can’t now but I imagine it would be more enjoyable without time and money contraints), and so on. One woman spoke about how she learned to play the piano. I mean wow…time.
I cannot remember the last time someone had the balls to pull an April Fool’s Joke on me. Especially any kind of REAL joke that involve property damage or pain and suffering.
I am not the kind of individual that appears to be the kind of Cat who takes kindly to foolishness.
And I am not.
In honor of April Fool’s Day We celebrate some of the more proper uses of AFD
#7: Alabama Changes the Value of Pi
1998: The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reasonnewsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the ‘Biblical value’ of 3.0. Soon the article made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly spread around the world, forwarded by email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by physicist Mark Boslough.
Nixon for President
1992: National Public Radio’s Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon’s voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.
1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”
1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a “Left-Handed Whopper” specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, “many others requested their own ‘right handed’ version.”
1994: An article by John Dvorak in PC Computing magazine described a bill going through Congress that would make it illegal to use the internet while drunk, or to discuss sexual matters over a public network. The bill was supposedly numbered 040194 (i.e. 04/01/94), and the contact person was listed as Lirpa Sloof (April Fools backwards). The article said that the FBI was going to use the bill to tap the phone line of anyone who “uses or abuses alcohol” while accessing the internet. Passage of the bill was felt to be certain because “Who wants to come out and support drunkenness and computer sex?” The article offered this explanation for the origin of the bill: “The moniker ‘Information Highway’ itself seems to be responsible for SB 040194… I know how silly this sounds, but Congress apparently thinks being drunk on a highway is bad no matter what kind of highway it is.” The article generated so many outraged phone calls to Congress that Senator Edward Kennedy’s office had to release an official denial of the rumor that he was a sponsor of the bill.
I spent last night in the Emergency Room of a children’s hospital, so I don’t make any pretense on giving a fuck about this particular post. But Dammit, There has to be at least ONE of you lurking out there wondering,
“what is Inkognegro’s crazy ass going to say this week?”
Well, for that ONE of you, and whomever it is…Show your face so I can at least know that I am not hallucinating.
Well, here goes.
I am sick to death of the Internet.
I am sick of the Immediate gavel Banging and judgement by people whose sole stature for doing so is a cell phone or internet access.
You don’t like shit, fine. Say you dont like it all day long.
But all this Endless Punditry by people who are barely equipped to talk about THEMSELVES, much less topics of import.
…. is not what scares me. I’ve often heard people wax poetic about “the beauty of life,” “this little one is trusting me with his/ her life,” etc. I’m not that deep. Matter of fact, the second one sounds completely ridiculous to me. I just heard it today, while watching ” A Baby Story.” I love that show. I love kids. They make me tear up because they have the power to brighten my day with the smallest action. Ok, back to the point of the post.
Parenthood is not scary to me. I’ve been in mommy training mode since I was seven (I am the oldest of four).
What scares me is, the nine months leading up to the birth, and the actual process of bringing her/him into this world.
I have been reading the blog of a young lady who has been through a miscarriage. It’s like she has let the world (by way of internet) into her life. She writes candidly of the highs and lows as she and her husband try to become parents again. It’s an extremely scary and emotionally trying process. I couldn’t imagine how it feels to be on cloud nine one minute and grieving the next.
On the other hand, my good friend just had a baby. I got to hear about the growing pains of pregnancy. The achy back, the screwed up sleep due to discomfort. (SUNNY does not PLAY with her sleep.) Don’t even get me started on the stretching of the belly! And not even for vanity’s sake, it’s just scary to have my belly go from the size of a cantelope (SUNNY could use some crunches) to a prize watermelon!!! And I got full details on contractions. Aye dios mio, it’s enough to totally make me forget the beauty of it.
So I just worry… everytime I think of it. Luckily, there is no pregnancy plans for me in the near future (who am I kidding, who actually “plans” this? lol), so I still have time to mow this thing over in my head. Hopefully God has mercy on me and pain during the process (PLEASE, Lawd!!!!!)
How about you guys? Are any of you scared of becoming a parent? For those of you who already have children, what were you scared about beforehand? Did you find those fears to be unrealistic?
Nobody's more racist than an old black man - C. Rock
I do not hate other races. I wish us all well in this country, both foreign (as long as you learn the language of course) and domestic. I also make fun of all races equally including my own. If racism (true racism – the HATRED, the CAPTIVITY and DOMINATION of person’s) never existed, I believe we could all laugh at ourselves without pressure and without shame. The slightest thing such as a some accents are funny to me, I don’t know why they are funny…they just are. Beyond accents…voices (like Wendy Williams and her “how you doin” or Elmer Fudd’s speech impediment) in general can be funny to me as well but, we are talking about race here.
To finish the Chris Rock joke (and his pic is only up there because he’s a black person not because I feel he’s racist because I don’t): “Nobody’s more racist than an old black man because they went through some real racism. None of this I can’t catch a cab sh!t…he WAS the cab. A white man would jump on his back and say “MAIN STREET”. *jockey motions*”
Now recently a Walmart in Pennsylvania was in the news because allegedly a 16-year-old white male stated on their PA system, “All black people leave the store now.” Of course everyone was shocked an appalled by the statement, but as I was reading comments about this story, someone pointed out something very critical, Would it still be considered racism if “All white people…” was said instead? And, seriously, I’m on the fence. It makes me think back to the original incident…no derogatory terms were used…no physical harm was caused…they weren’t serious, it was just a kid…so, where’s the racism?
In writing, I begin to think about hate crimes. I’ve never heard of a black person, or person of any other race (non-white) commiting a hate crime against a white person. If anything WE (black people) kill each other, between gangs and utter foolishness, we can truly be our own worst enemy. Now, unraveling my own thoughts, I don’t think racism truly exists unless it’s acted upon. How can you survive in this society without interacting with someone who claim to “hate”? And that’s what racism is supposed to be right? Hatred. But, is it pure hatred or those ACTS of hatred that make a person racist?
Please weigh in on the Walmart incident and what’s known as “reverse racism” (black people that hate other races). Is racism all in our minds?
AUTHOR’s NOTE: I totally get that this is a women’s blog. But I see y’all dudes out here lurking on the periphery. This is for you.
Ladies? Send it to a man who needs to read it. You know you know at least ONE.
I am 82 days short of my 40th Birthday.
As I approach said magical day, it is becoming apparent I need to step my mentoring game or something.
I was watching I Love You, Man yesterday, while waiting for history to shake itself out.
I took a pass on it in the theaters partly because I LIVED The movie but mostly because I have kinda grown weary of the whole Apatow/Paul Rudd/New wave White R- rated comedy thing. Seen one, seen them all.
I am starting to have regrets though. Not because I feel like I missed out on having Male friends, so much as I feel like men missed out on having a friend like me.
Someone to tell them it’s okay to be themselves and not some cardboard cut out of the man Madison avenue produces for you.
Someone to tell them that Fucking every girl in the world isn’t exactly a life goal to aspire to, even metaphorically.
Someone to tell them that just because you want to fuck every attractive woman you meet doesn’t mean you love women.
Someone to tell them that it is entirely possible to view women outside the context of a potential sex partner.
Someone to tell them that being a man is 360 degrees of existence. Mind-body-and-soul
Someone to tell them that they would be surprised what they could learn from a woman if they weren’t trying to get under their skirt so hard.
I know I come off kinda know-it-all ish and aloof, but thats mostly because I know how y’all act when dudes don’t fit in your narrow little boxes.
But if you’re willing to Break out of that box. Im here for you.
Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall.
It is a beautiful world when you break out of that narrow confining box and Stretch out to be a whole man, as opposed to that stereotype you’re living.
It isn’t easy, though. I never really lived it, but I can tell it’s a difficult path to go from Pinocchio to a real boy.
If you want it…I am here for you.
Otherwise….Keep it moving and try not to say anything stupid around me, Because I Will clown you.
We’ve gone on to dinner, had drinks, even kicked it at the club… He keeps telling me:
“You ain’t ready for all this.”
Now… One night I snapped off & asked him what the eff he meant by that. He just said… “You ain’t ready shawty.”
*crickets*
I’m a he!l of a woman & I need a he!l of man. He’ont know my life! Anyways, I digress.
Fast forward to two days ago at work, a female co-worker walked by & a male co-worker walked behind her & said “She ain’t ready for all this.”
WHAT?!?! Now my aunt always talks to me about the mythical silver dipped and platinum tipped man… You know the ones that get you all wrapped up. Well yeah…. None of these men are all that.
So here’s my question… Are women so desperate that we’ve accepted these trifling men to the point they think what they’ve gotten is exceptional? Furthermore, I am DYING to know just what it is we women are NOT ready for?
Trust… I’ve got an opinion, but I’ma keep this one to myself this time.
On my way to work this morning, I’ve realized one big change that has come into my life.
I listen to Russ Parr in the Morning on my short commute and usually get to hear the morning’s spiritual song right as I cross over into the bridge headed into Kentucky from Indiana (where I reside). This morning, as the gospel song played, and I forget what it was, I realized that I missed my church. I was just there Sunday (two days before) but as silly as it sounds, it still did not stop me from missing it.
When that gospel song came on, (and as Christian as I say I am, I usually don’t mess with gospel music outside of Sunday), I realized that I seriously love being there. I love the music, the camaraderie, the preaching, the spirit, EVERYTHING. I missed church so much that I passed up my usual “Lalah Hatahway” station for a “Marvin Sapp” station that I just programmed on Pandora at work right now.
The best thing of all about my church is my Sunday School class. My former class closed, forcing me and my beau to find a new class. As I flipped down the list of classes (my church has a BOATLOAD of choices, yaw), I immediately wanted to try the one called “With this Ring…” I didn’t know what to expect upon me and my beau’s first visit, but it now being our full month in, I’m truly blessed to have found it. It’s a huge class, me and beau being the youngest couple in there, and we talk about just about everything. It’s truly a blessing to be around people that are married and are going where we’d like to go in the future. There is no better person to learn something you are TRYING to do, than from someone who was successful at it.
I’m blessed to have my church, and I’m blessed to have a beau, who shares what I share. I have never had this before and I’m truly happy…. I remember as a kid, I LOATHED going to church every morning… when my granny pulled up to pick me and my brother up (even though I did not DARE ask mama why she didn’t have to come to church), I would be HEATED that I had to miss out on rest, to go. Twenty seven years later (how long it took for me to realize go away from the family church and find somewhere where my spirit could grow), I now realized what my granny was trying to do. And I’m thankful for her- for a praying, church-going granny.
I’m not trying to convert anyone; just expressing how happy I am at this moment and what change I realized I’ve made. I’m far from perfect, I’m a work in progress, as all Christians are. I know some would have you believe differently, and those are what give Christians a bad rep. Whatever you chose to do, whatever you are, I hope you feel the degree of happiness that I do now!!!!
What changes have you realized about yourself lately?
Single Sisters Speak Out 
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